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Jono's Arachnid Memories

Ah Facebook memories! On the surface it seems such an innocent little idea. Why not bring up a photo or post from the past for someone to relive? Sounds great. Who wouldn’t want to remember some good time with friends or family from years gone by? Perhaps it’s a photo that will bring a smile to your face; maybe a great holiday snap, an amazing meal or a photo of your little one who’s now all grown up.

But what if it is a memory you’d rather not relive? Like say… finding a sizable spider inside the water bottle you are currently drinking from!

Well, last Tuesday — once again— Facebook helped me relive just this experience. It was the 21st July 2017 at my former workplace. I was sitting in my editor’s office discussing something to do with the upcoming issue when I causally raised the bottle, I had been drinking from to my lips only to notice a flicker of movement from within.

Startled, I quickly pushed the bottle away to find an orb weaver spider treading water in a desperate attempt to clamber out.

Now, I grew up in a former shearer’s quarters out west of Bourke, where spiders are a part of life. Daddy long-legs would continually appear in room corners, huntsman were regular house guests, and shaking boots for Redbacks was routine. Spiders, in general, don’t bother me, but I draw the line at spiders in my drinking water!

I know some people would be inconsolable if this had happened to them, but by this time I had had some experience. You see, this was not the first time it had happened to me. Nor the second!

Yes, on three separate occasions I have been subjected to this very same thing! Three different species of spider found in my drink bottle over a space of four years!

It was a huntsman spider the first time. It was an unusually warm October day and I had been out of the office for most of the afternoon. Looking for a drink on my return, I casually grabbed my empty water bottle to go and refill it only to discover the irate arachnid. On this occasion I believe I may have let loose with a few unprintable exclamations while I tried to take in what had happened.

 How did it get in? Could it have slipped in unnoticed when I filled the bottle? Or could it have somehow squeezed into the open ‘pop top’ lid? I preferred to think it was the second option. Although less plausible, the alternative meant acknowledging that I had drunk a litre of water with the spider inside the bottle!

When something like this happens, it puts you on you guard. For a while it became second nature to carefully inspect the bottle before drinking and letting the tap run before putting the bottle under the nozzle.

But two years went by. I became complacent. I hadn’t heard of anyone finding a spider in their drink before, how likely was it to happen to me again?

Well, the second time was just as startling as the first. The only consolation was that this time I caught it before draining the bottle.

Every year, Facebook reminds me of this – three times a year!

Three times!

And to this day, not a single Spidey sense nor web slinging ability to speak of! I feel ripped off.