I’ve no qualifications at all, but I’m thinking about becoming a sparky, a rock singer or maybe even…

I’m fascinated by two things, electricity and loud music. From a young age, the science behind electrical power had me spellbound, with the units we covered in Science during school always keeping me rivetted in class. In my senior years at school and university, I wasn’t exactly Einstein (sorry) when it came to mastering the concepts of Physics, but I understand the workings of things when it comes to volts and jolts.

My dad had no qualifications in this area either, but reading magazines and asking around saw him do the wiring for all the extensions he put on our house in Umina – no probs. There’s strict rules about that nowadays, probably a good thing. I have 2 fine role models in the world of electricity – Alex the local legendary sparky, and a brother-in-law, both highly qualified and ‘go to’ people if you want a job done professionally and perfectly.

I’ve said it a lot, but I have absolutely no musical talent. Can’t really hold a note, can’t read or write music, can’t play an instrument, and penning 600 words in this fine magazine every week certainly does not qualify me as a lyricist. Yet, the cravings still burn inside me for a musical career. With the music at an ear-blistering level in the car, I can match it with Axl Rose as he sings ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’ and with James Reyne as he belts out ‘The Boys Light Up’ … so I reckon I’m on to a good thing. I’m surprised someone hasn’t signed me up. I’m gonna call my first album One Bright Spark. Might sell a million.

But Paul, you say, you’ve got no qualifications at all to either be a sparky or a lead singer in a rock band, who’d want you in one of those roles? It would appear that all you need is deluded self-belief, some directionless people you can bluff, and a truckload of cash – and then you can be anything you want. The past four years in the USA have summed this up in a nutshell, and with rules that say all you need as qualifications to become President is to be over 35 and born in the country, well… look where they are now. The most mind-boggling part is that there were actually enough people (well, I gather they’re weren’t really, but that’s another story) to vote him over the line says more about our broken world than anything else.

Now, rapper Kanye West is keen on becoming the most powerful person in the world. Sadly, but not surprisingly he’ll get millions of votes too, which may do the causes of logic and sanity (not to mention the future of the free world) great damage and see Mr Trump reinstated as President again. Imagine if you will, Prime Minister Farnham, or the campaign that says ‘Ash Barty for PM’. Honestly, both of those make more sense than Trump or Kanye, don’t they? What about one of the past winners of ‘The Bachelor’ or ‘Masterchef’ … is that enough to get you to the highest office in the land, with no qualifications, just a bunch of Instagram followers and 15 minutes of fame? If we ever change from our current system under the Monarchy, to the system of a Republic where we elect an independent President, I hope they’ve learnt from the mistakes over there … and bring in some serious rules about what runs you need on the board to apply to get the top job. Hey wait, after I’ve released my album ‘One Bright Spark,’ maybe I could run for the top job! Changing a few light bulbs and singing in the shower makes me more qualified than some.